I Have Reclaimed Hope
The thought that I was sexually abused as child was one that I never accepted in my life until the age of 31. That was not the reality of who I was. I had blocked those events completely from my brain. It was not even something I could consciously conceive to be real in my life. It took me struggling through relationships, not knowing my path in life, feeling like there was something wrong with me, etc. to realize that maybe I didn’t have it all together.
You see, I went to school to be a counselor. I have sat through numerous courses, learning all about how to help other people. I’ve learned techniques for empowering others. I paid a lot of money to get to this point. And then I realized that I needed a taste of my own medicine.
As I spent time in February of 2017 reading through the book “Reclaim Hope”, after it being recommended by a friend, I found my world rocked. What really hit me the most through this experience was learning more about the two-part brain. Being able to understand more about the fact that the trauma caused me to shut down one part of my brain and that, to this day, I go back there, was eye opening. I finally felt, while reading this section of the book, that I wasn’t alone. It helped me to understand more of why my life was being lived the way it was.
In March of that same year I attended Saprea Retreat. Attending the retreat reaffirmed the fact that I am not alone in this journey. My experiences are unique but the trauma is not. This retreat also really gave me the reminder that there are legitimate reasons for why my body reacts the way it does to triggers and taught me strategies to start retraining myself.
I am now not afraid to say that I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and that this does not make me who I am. It is simply a part of me. I’m no longer ashamed to be part of the 1 in 4 statistic. Instead I’m a fighter. I’m a survivor. I’m strong. I’m whole. I’m worthy.
I have reclaimed hope!