I Was Once Broken But Mended Beautifully
For years since my assault and trauma I have fought with myself between shame, guilt, doubt, and insecurity. I have struggled with varying levels of PTSD, anxiety, and the isolation I put myself in because of how unworthy I have felt. The rose-colored glass I grew up seeing the world through shattered, and with it I grew up in silence feeling like those shattered pieces.
I finally had a breaking point a little over a year ago when I just couldn’t take the pain and flashbacks anymore. My depression flooded over me and I felt like I could barely swim to the top for air. I sought out help and began going to therapy, but I still felt like something was missing. It was in June of 2018 I attended the Saprea Retreat, and there they held the piece I had been missing all along.
A community. A sisterhood. My tribe and my flock.
I began to understand I’m not alone in this and that my pieces mended together are more beautiful and I am worthy. That I don’t have to isolate myself. It’s crazy how some places can feel more like home in just a few days than places you’ve lived throughout your life. I felt nothing but continuous love and care in this save haven, almost like I was in the arms of angels.
Since coming back to my home I’ve continued to work on my healing journey. I continue with therapy and we take things I have learned from the Saprea Retreat and continue more in-depth with them… recently I realized I haven’t felt as happy as I am now in years, the smile on my face since the retreat wasn’t that from a mask but my real smile. With the tools I learned I am growing a backbone, allowing no one the power to take my strength and stride away anymore. I am becoming exactly who I am meant to be. Once broken but mended beautifully. I am enough. I am a survivor. I am empowered. I am worthy. And no one can tell me otherwise.