The Road Was Not Easy, But I Am a Survivor
My first memory of the abuse was when I was 5 and my nightmare ended when I was 13. So as horrible as it may seem, I grew up thinking that this is what “love” is. It wasn’t until I was 13 that I found out that this was not my fault and what happened to me was not “normal” and was terribly wrong.
The shame that I felt was so overwhelming at times that I wanted to run; run as fast and hard as I could away from them. Asking myself why, why is this happening to me? How could they betray the love and trust of an innocent little girl?
I felt so alone. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this horrible display of “love”?
The answer is: NOTHING!
I did nothing wrong. It look 8 years for me to be told this. For some stranger take me into their life and make me see that it was the men who did this that were sick people, that they were wrong. That what they did was inappropriate and abusive. It took years, but eventually I was able to forgive one for what they had done to me. A huge part of it was that he took responsibility for what he had done.
The other was no longer in my life when it came out what he was doing to me. He died before I had the chance to confront him. When people find out what I went through as a child, they look at me and say that is horrible, and look at me with pity. I tell them DON’T feel sorry for me. My childhood was horrendous, no doubt, BUT it has shaped me into the woman that I am today! Which is pretty AWESOME, if I do say so myself!
There are children all over the world that go through what I did, what those two did does not define me; it has made me into a strong empowered woman! The road was not easy, but with the support of loved ones and strangers, I too am a survivor.