Finding Strength Through Faith, Recovery, and Love

I’m a survivor of mental and physical abuse. I have been a rape victim/survivor from age 18 months to 19 years old. I was dealt with cards that were stacked against me. I overcame, I fought. And even though those memories will always be there with me, I know that God has always watched out for me. Even though bad things happened, that wasn’t due to him. That was due to people who had demons in them with bad intentions.

This has not been an easy journey. During my late teens I started messing around with recreational drugs. I went from one thing to another. Then I found a favorite—morphine. It did everything that it promised. It numbed me, made me check out. And I was fine with that until I realized this path would kill me.

Years later, I met the man who’d become my husband. He told me he cared for me a lot and that he was in love with me, but he would not stand by anyone who would self-destruct this way. I thank him every day because his words were a wakeup call. I could be losing out on a wonderful opportunity with this wonderful man. So, I broke every single needle. I called the health department. Told them what I’d done and told them that they need to keep those locked away so people are not tempted.

I’ve been clean since 9/11. I have built myself up. I now have a 17-year-old, a 13-year-old, and a 10-year-old. They’re all autistic which can be rough sometimes, but it’s an ability not a disability. I found a lot of clarity. I have a husband of 18 years. He’s my best friend. He’s my council. He’s my shoulder to cry on.

You have to look forward because if you keep looking behind, you’re never going to be able to find hope, forgiveness, and have trust in people. Without hope, we have nothing. We did nothing to deserve this and I’m not keeping silent anymore. But as I said, through my faith and my husband, I have found strength and can share my story, which has helped unburden my heart. Much love to anyone who has gone through this.