How Saprea Helped Me Heal, Find Purpose, and Change Lives

I was able to attend Saprea Retreat in May of 2023. And it really affected the trajectory of my life in the most positive ways. I have wanted to thank you and put into words how grateful I am, but was unsure where to begin.

In early 2023 before I attended the retreat, I was in such an odd place, mentally and physically. At age 32, I was questioning my purpose. I was unhappy with my career in medical administration, and I knew it just wasn’t what I was called to do in life.

My past trauma was catching up to me; things I hadn’t let my mind wander to for decades were now at the forefront of my brain.

It was after becoming a mom to two little girls that my past abuse really started coming back up. My daughter’s 8th birthday was a gut punch because that was the age I was, when my abuse started. I couldn’t help but wonder why or how my birth mom didn’t even try to protect me, especially when I wanted to do anything within my power to ensure my girl’s safety.

The memories, feelings, and emotions I had always managed to keep hidden were coming to the surface. Until it reached a point where I felt like I was drowning in it.

My word for 2023 was “healing.” I had no clear plan of how I was going to achieve this, but I knew my life depended on it. I had to do this for myself. I started therapy and did more research on the retreat. I had thought about attending in the past but wasn’t ready to take that leap.

Although I was still very unsure if I was prepared for the retreat, I did it anyway.

And it will forever be one of the best things I ever did for myself.

As I boarded my flight to Utah, I almost turned back. I remember thinking‚ “I still have time to get off the plane before they shut the door.” But ultimately, I decided I had not come this far to only go this far. As I loaded my bag into the SUV with a group of strangers, I was sure this was one of the craziest things I’ve ever done. I’m typically pretty introverted; little did I know, the strangers next to me would become some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had.

Saprea was exactly what I needed to get control back of my life. This experience took me out of my comfort zones and allowed me to access a place of education and growth. The classes were phenomenal and helped me to understand my brain and why I was the way I was. Why I feel the way I feel.

I walked into the house so unsure and out of place. Then, days later, I walked out with tears of joy, so proud of my group of women.

As I type this email‚ my group text thread  is sending me notifications of incoming messages. We speak almost daily. When something happens in my life, they are some of the people I can’t wait to share it with and vice versa.

When arriving back home, I felt refreshed and ready to use the tools I’d learned and apply them to my life.

I started working on the online classes and signed up to participate in the training to be a volunteer community educator. My main goal was to educate myself on ways to have conversations with my girls around the topic of consent and reducing risk. After completing the class, I wanted to do more and see if there was a way I could help in my community. I reached out to a few places to see if there was a need, and an executive director for a non-profit organization in my city reached out. She mentioned one of their prevention educators would be retiring soon and asked if I’d like to shadow her to see if it’s something I’m interested in.

I am excited to say I was hired by their team. I now teach Green Bear/S.A.F.E. classes to approximately 1,000 kids a week in all our local schools and cover five counties in the Southeast Missouri region.

 I can definitively say:

 I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

Although it’s not easy work, it’s so rewarding to know and feel like I’m making a difference in kids’ lives. I also just completed my certification to teach mandated reporting classes at SEMO University

My time at Saprea ended with a group photo on the stairs with the women I am still so very close to. Although I had absolutely no clue at the time, this experience would lead me to my career with the Green Bear Project and taking a new photo on the stairs at my new office. I have each and every one of you at Saprea to thank.