Breaking Free from Shame: My Journey to Understanding and Healing

When I was five, my parents and I went on our annual camping trip. When we got there, we set up our stuff next to another family—a mom, a dad, and a twelve-year-old girl. She introduced herself. She gave me candy and affection, played with me, and acted like a friend.

We found a dry storm pipe by a dried-up creek and crawled inside. We began talking, and then it got darker. She began to assault me sexually. Twenty minutes into the assault, my dad found us, and the other girl came up with an excuse. I went along with it, too, because I didn’t know what she did was wrong.

Seven years later, I finally put together the pieces and realized she had taken advantage of me. I began shaming myself for not putting up a fight and saying she abused me.

I began feeling like I deserved it. But looking back, this is a common symptom of Stockholm Syndrome. After several sessions of online group therapy with more sexual abuse survivors, I began telling myself that it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t deserve it.

Now, I feel comfortable sharing this, which is a major improvement. To all the survivors out there, you didn’t deserve what happened to you, and you deserve every bit of happiness life has to offer.