{"id":29739,"date":"2024-08-12T14:44:01","date_gmt":"2024-08-12T20:44:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/saprea.org\/stories\/mon-histoire-est-loin-detre-parfaite\/"},"modified":"2024-08-12T14:44:01","modified_gmt":"2024-08-12T20:44:01","slug":"mon-histoire-est-loin-detre-parfaite","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/saprea.org\/fr\/stories\/mon-histoire-est-loin-detre-parfaite\/","title":{"rendered":"Mon histoire est loin d’\u00eatre parfaite"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u00c0 certains moments de ma vie, j’ai d\u00e9pens\u00e9 beaucoup d’\u00e9nergie \u00e0 essayer de cr\u00e9er une image parfaite d\u2019une vie normale. Et les abus sexuels n’ont jamais fait partie de cette normalit\u00e9. C’\u00e9tait loin d’\u00eatre le cas. C’\u00e9tait la derni\u00e8re chose que je voulais dans cette image parfaite de moi. Et j’ai eu l’impression que c’\u00e9tait peut-\u00eatre aussi la derni\u00e8re chose que les autres voulaient dans cette image de moi. <\/p>\n\n

J’ai travaill\u00e9 dur pour enterrer ce pass\u00e9. Je pense que cet enfouissement a commenc\u00e9 m\u00eame pendant l’abus lui-m\u00eame. Lorsqu’on vous dit, \u00e0 l’\u00e2ge de 9 ans, que personne ne doit \u00eatre au courant, que c’est vous qui aurez des ennuis si cela se sait, vous apprenez rapidement \u00e0 nier la r\u00e9alit\u00e9 et \u00e0 donner une image diff\u00e9rente que les autres – et vous – peuvent accepter. <\/p>\n\n

Mais, si vous ne l’avez pas encore devin\u00e9, il n’y a pas d’image parfaite. Et il est difficile d’enterrer quelque chose sans que ses vilaines racines ne se resserrent autour des parties les plus profondes de votre corps. En cons\u00e9quence, j’ai lutt\u00e9 contre l’anxi\u00e9t\u00e9<\/a> et les sympt\u00f4mes du syndrome de stress post-traumatique. J’ai essay\u00e9 de g\u00e9rer les flashbacks<\/a> et les cauchemars par moi-m\u00eame. Je n’ai jamais r\u00e9ussi \u00e0 tout g\u00e9rer. <\/p>\n\n

Au fil du temps, la th\u00e9rapie m’a aid\u00e9e. Des amis proches et la famille m’ont aid\u00e9e. Un mari aimant et patient m’a aid\u00e9e. Et l’ann\u00e9e derni\u00e8re, de mani\u00e8re inattendue, la retraite Saprea<\/a> m’a aid\u00e9e. <\/p>\n\n

La honte<\/a> m’a presque convaincue de ne pas m’inscrire. Je suis tomb\u00e9e sur la retraite sur Instagram. J’ai postul\u00e9, j’ai eu un entretien t\u00e9l\u00e9phonique et j’ai presque achet\u00e9 des billets d’avion pour la G\u00e9orgie avant m\u00eame d’en parler \u00e0 mon mari. Je pense que c’est parce que dire que je participais \u00e0 une retraite pour des femmes ayant surv\u00e9cu \u00e0 des abus sexuels aurait rendu l’abus trop r\u00e9el \u00e0 nouveau. <\/p>\n\n

Mais j’y suis all\u00e9e, m\u00eame si j’avais peur. Et je suis tr\u00e8s contente de l’avoir fait. J’ai beaucoup appris sur la honte et sur ces petites voix qui me suivaient partout et qui me disaient que je ne pouvais pas poursuivre ma gu\u00e9rison ou parler d’une partie aussi importante de ma vie. Des voix honteuses qui me disent qui je suis (ou ne suis pas) \u00e0 cause de ces abus. Pour une fois, je me suis sentie en contact avec un groupe de femmes qui comprenaient tout cela. Nous \u00e9tions assises ensemble dans \u00ab\u00a0l’inconfort\u00a0\u00bb, capables de dire ces mots inestimables : \u00ab\u00a0Moi aussi\u00a0\u00bb. <\/p>\n\n

J’avance en sachant que mon histoire est loin d’\u00eatre parfaite. J’essaie encore de me d\u00e9barrasser des pires aspects de cette histoire, mais j’ai beaucoup plus confiance en ce que je suis gr\u00e2ce \u00e0 elle et en la fa\u00e7on dont je peux donner de l’espoir \u00e0 d’autres personnes \u00e0 travers elle. <\/p>\n\n

-Marissa, survivante <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Marissa est une survivante d’abus sexuels subis dans l’enfance qui a particip\u00e9 \u00e0 la retraite de Saprea. 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